What is Anger?

Anger is a normal human emotion, part of everyday experience.

Many consider it to be a negative emotion, but I don’t consider there to be negative or positive emotions. Emotions are emotions and that’s it. Negative or positive is the effect of emotions on us and what we decide to do with them. Emotions themselves are not to blame for our decisions.

It is to be expected to feel anger when you feel:

• Treated with contempt or superiority
• Disregarded
• Attacked or put on the spot
• Frustrated
• Treated unfairly

Anger can also be triggered by memories of such unpleasant experiences, not just by living them in the present.

Anger often hides fear behind it, but it’s essentially a burst of energy that can help you:

• Change the situation you find yourself in, especially when the situation you find yourself in doesn’t suit you
• Focus on a goal
• Stand up for yourself if you need to

Anger can vary in intensity from mild irritation to explosive rage.

Like other emotions, the onset of anger causes a number of physiological changes: blood pressure rises and the energy hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline are released in the body.

The 3 types of anger

Anger can be classified into 3 types of reactions:

Passive-aggressive anger: usually used by people who avoid direct confrontation. It manifests itself in sulking, procrastination in performing tasks, the silent treatment (“I’m not talking to you anymore”), all accompanied by the response “I’m fine” to the question whether you are fine or if everything is fine.

Direct aggression: used by those who feel an uncontrollable need to express their anger outwardly, becoming verbally or physically aggressive and with a high likelihood of someone (themselves or those around them) getting hurt. It manifests itself through beating, bullying, blackmail, accusations, yelling, criticism or irony. Sometimes the target of anger becomes an object, not necessarily a person. In those cases, it’s usually the angry person who suffers the most, who may cut themselves on a broken window with their fist or break their hand punching a wall.

Assertive anger: is the healthy way to deal with anger, by having the patience to get answers to questions you’ve asked, to listen to the other person’s side of the story, or to communicate openly how you feel. It is an ideal opportunity to demonstrate your maturity and level of emotional intelligence.
What is anger management?

Anger management is a therapeutic process in which the patient is taught to understand and manage their anger so that the negative effect of these manifestations in their life is eliminated as much as possible. The person is taught to control their reactions and respond to different situations in socially acceptable ways.

In order to better understand their anger, it is advisable to explore the possible causes of anger in therapy. These causes may be past traumatic events, different beliefs about the world and life, or self-image.

What are the effects of unconstructively expressed or even unexpressed anger?

If you are angry most of the time and fail to use your anger in a constructive way, it could have serious consequences for your life:

• Physical health: weakened immune system or autoimmune disease, diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.
• Mental health: difficulty concentrating, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety.
• Career: you could lose your job or end up isolated from others because no one wants anything to do with you.
• Relationships: anger expressed uncontrollably can permanently affect your relationship with others and they may lose trust or respect for you. Especially when anger is explosive, you can become a source of trauma for those around you, especially your children, if any.

People who often get angry often believe that it is their nature and that they have no control over what they do, but this is completely false. You have no control from a point on, but you can learn how to make it so you don’t get to that point, or at least get to it much less often.

Expressing anger

Aggression is the immediate biological response when anger arises. Aggression is an adaptive response to threats, as such it is necessary from a survival point of view.

On the other hand, you can’t just jump into a fight whenever you don’t like something. And then, people use three approaches to deal with anger: expression, suppression and calming.

Expressing angry feelings in an assertive, non-aggressive manner is the healthiest of these approaches. To do this, you need to learn how to communicate your personal needs and limitations without having to become aggressive.

Suppressing anger involves stopping it from expressing itself and then converting or redirecting it. For example, you get angry about something, you refrain from having a reaction and think about something else. The problem is that unexpressed anger turns against you and “attacks” you from within, causing heart problems, blood pressure or depression.

Possible symptoms of those with anger control problems

People with anger management difficulties frequently display a number of symptoms, such as:

• Physical symptoms: muscle tension, muscle spasms, headaches or neck pain, increased blood pressure, palpitations, tingling or itching sensations
• Emotional symptoms: irritability, anxiety, frustration, stress, exhaustion
• Other conditions associated with anger

Anger may only be a symptom of a more serious condition. If so, it won’t be enough to treat just the anger, but also what’s behind it.

In any case, in order to correctly identify the problem, specialist intervention is needed.

Anger can also occur in people who:

• Have depression, depression being a state characterised by a continuous feeling of sadness and a lack of interest in activities, a state that lasts for several weeks at a time.
• Have obsessive-compulsive disorder. A 2011 study shows that half of people with OCD have anger as a symptom.
• Alcohol abuse: alcohol consumption increases aggression and impairs the ability to make rational decisions. It also interferes with impulse control and makes it harder, or impossible, for the person under its influence to control themselves.
• They have attention deficit disorder, a disorder characterised by symptoms such as hyperactivity, difficulty concentrating and impulsivity.
• They have oppositional defiant disorder, a disorder that affects up to 16% of school-age children. Children with this disorder become easily annoyed by others and behave in a defiant manner.
• They have bipolar disorder: a brain disorder that causes dramatic mood swings. These swings constantly fluctuate between mania and depression and sufferers can have periods of extreme anger, especially if they are in a manic mood.
• They have explosive-intermittent disorder, a disorder characterised by repeated episodes of violent or aggressive behaviour. Episodes last less than 30 minutes and come without warning, and sufferers frequently feel ashamed after such an episode.

Anger also frequently occurs in bereavement, and is one of the stages that a person goes through after losing a loved one. Anger can be directed at the self, at the deceased, at people considered to be responsible for the death (even as moral perpetrators), or at objects that have some significance in relation to the deceased.

In conclusion

Anger is a normal and useful emotion, but if it seems to be something that is out of your control, you might want to do something about it before it affects your life and your relationships with others more dramatically.